So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
