you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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