garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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