There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
