Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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