everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me I should be a condom model.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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