: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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