I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
