I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
