I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
