Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
