so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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