i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
