Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize