I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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