Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
