Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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