i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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