If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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