just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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