similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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