I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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