I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
should my penis look like a turkey
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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