yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
