I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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