My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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