He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i believe in u and ur pee
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
