belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am puke
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
