..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
