OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
