I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
