I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
