I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
