Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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