I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
