Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
