Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
