dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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