I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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