im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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