Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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