that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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