his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
