sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
this will be a night to untag.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
