I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
