so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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