i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
