You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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