I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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