how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
All I want is dick and wine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
