3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
