somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
