I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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