did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
