I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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