No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
