so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
