Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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