I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
