you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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