she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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