What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
