i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
