I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
