Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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