You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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